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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Ticket Demand For Dal Outdoors Society Trips Rivals Eras Tour

October 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — New data released by the Dalhousie Student Union shows it’s now harder to get tickets to the Dalhousie Outdoors Society’s trips than it was for Taylor Swift’s…

Dalhousie Pisser Revealed To Be Gazette Editor-In-Chief, Desperate For Headlines Post-Strike

October 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Since Sept. 15, Dalhousie University’s campus has been mussed by a scoundrel known as the Dalhousie Pisser. Marking territory like a dog, the Pisser has urinated on…

University of King’s College performs annual blood oath to welcome first-year students 

October 4, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Each year, the University of King’s College formally welcomes first-year students with a Matriculation ceremony. To outsiders, this process may seem odd. Students dress in academic gowns,…

Controversial anatomy class, “Can I Fuck It,” pulled from academic timetable

October 4, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — With the hullabaloo of the labour dispute settling down, there was notably one class whose absence was felt stronger than most. Originally announced last winter, ANAT 3175:…

Dal professors to compete for livable wages in new Mr. Beast game show

October 4, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In light of the recently resolved Dalhousie Faculty Association lockout — YouTube star and Rolling Stone’s seventh most influential influencer of the year — Mr. Beast, has…

Studies suggest bar for performative allyship lower than ever

October 4, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A recent study by the Dalhousie Gender and Women’s Studies Collective found that it is easier to be an ally to marginalized groups than ever. By comparing…

Research suggests majority of students celebrating end of the DFA lockout will start skipping classes by Oct. 1

October 4, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University students spent the majority of September unsure of when, or if, their fall semester would begin. Naturally, when a start date for classes was announced,…

Letter to the editor: King’s is more than an outdated stereotype

September 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

I write this letter to the editorial team of the Dalhousie Mackerel, a once respectable source for news, on behalf of the University of King’s College student body. I, Indigo…

The ultimate guide to becoming a performative male

September 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — It can be very difficult for men these days to impress women. Standards for men are just always so much higher than they are for women —…

Exclusive interview with your upstairs neighbour

September 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, N.S. — Ever the busy man, the Mackerel has been waiting months to talk with Upton “Up” St. Airs, your upstairs neighbour. St. Airs has been a mysterious figure…

Posts pagination

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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