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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

A guide to performative LinkedIn posting Microsoft launches new short-form content feature for Authenticator R.I.P. Sam Creighton Dalhousie to construct ‘terrible noise generators’ outside Howe Hall Students rejoice over LSC bathroom’s indefinite closure

Killam Library To Be Transformed Into Luxury Disaster Shelter

January 16, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following news of a Cold War bomb shelter in Nova Scotia being repurposed into a high-end community for the doomsday prepping elite, stakeholders at Dalhousie University came…

The Most “wonderful” Time Of The School Year

January 16, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Ah yes, the holidays — that magical season when students briefly escape the carefully managed chaos of student housing and return to their homeland for the year’s…

Heated Bribery: Dalhousie Introduces Gay Solution To Low Hockey Turnout

January 16, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following the immense success of Crave’s LGBTQ+ romance show Heated Rivalry, many brands and institutions have capitalized on the hype, all striving to proclaim, “Hey, we’re cool!…

The Mackerel runs out of budget for stock photos, forced to improvise

January 5, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — The first week of October took a tragic turn for the staff of the Mackerel, as the publication’s Shutterstock subscription — long thought to be eternal and…

The Mackerel Semester Recap

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — As the semester comes to an end, the Mackerel thanks its loyal writers for their continued devotion to honest reporting of real facts on news that actually…

Five Tips To Help You Write Your Honours Thesis

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — As the fall semester comes to a close, many undergraduate honours students have begun to fall victim to their thesis. It’s hard to fathom that the hard…

Genetics Lab Session Ends In Disaster When Situationship Revealed To Be Related

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A lab session for a Dalhousie University biology class took a dramatic turn Thursday as lab partners-turned-situationship, Chrissy Clarkson and Peter LaPieux, discovered that it wasn’t just…

Dal Pisser Urinates On Howe Hall Roommate “For The Views”

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s most mysterious content creator, known only by his Instagram handle @thedalhousiepisser, has struck again — this time allegedly urinating on his Howe Hall roommate “for…

Big Oopsie! Password Requirement Turned Off For All Dal Accounts

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Information Technology Services is the department at Dalhousie University responsible for providing essential university technology staples, such as email, wireless networks and the academic timetable website forsaken…

Five Ways To Stay On Top Of A Compressed Semester During White Girl Autumn™

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — With a term compressed tighter than a pair of Lululemon leggings post-Thanksgiving, some Dalhousie University students are pretending like this is “totally fine,” while crying into their…

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You missed

A guide to performative LinkedIn posting

October 8, 2026 Charlie McLaughlin

Microsoft launches new short-form content feature for Authenticator

October 8, 2026 Zacharie Zegers

R.I.P. Sam Creighton

October 8, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie to construct ‘terrible noise generators’ outside Howe Hall

October 8, 2026 Celeste Boutilier
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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