Skip to content
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

  • Home
  • Issues
    • Newest Issue
    • TA Strike Issue
    • Halifax Council Issue
    • Archived Issues
    • Headlines
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimony
  • Disclaimer
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Comics

Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Genetics Lab Session Ends In Disaster When Situationship Revealed To Be Related

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A lab session for a Dalhousie University biology class took a dramatic turn Thursday as lab partners-turned-situationship, Chrissy Clarkson and Peter LaPieux, discovered that it wasn’t just…

Dal Pisser Urinates On Howe Hall Roommate “For The Views”

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s most mysterious content creator, known only by his Instagram handle @thedalhousiepisser, has struck again — this time allegedly urinating on his Howe Hall roommate “for…

Big Oopsie! Password Requirement Turned Off For All Dal Accounts

December 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Information Technology Services is the department at Dalhousie University responsible for providing essential university technology staples, such as email, wireless networks and the academic timetable website forsaken…

Five Ways To Stay On Top Of A Compressed Semester During White Girl Autumn™

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — With a term compressed tighter than a pair of Lululemon leggings post-Thanksgiving, some Dalhousie University students are pretending like this is “totally fine,” while crying into their…

Creative Writing Student Cosplays As Middle-Aged Alcoholic To “Get In The Zone”

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — For third-year creative writing student Anthony Meyers, studying starts with a bottle of whisky and not showering for a week. Meyers aims to imitate those who inspired…

Five (Really Good) Halloween Costume Ideas

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — As Halloween approaches, many students struggle to plan what costume to wear. You may be wondering, “How do I pick a costume unique enough to stand out,…

Paranoid Student Sees Real-Life Vampire — Really Just King’s Student

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In recent weeks, whispers of terrifying, pale creatures lurking in the dark have tripled in frequency as an increasing number of Dalhousie University students have found themselves…

The Benefits Of A Study Beer

October 29, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Academic stress is on the rise during this condensed semester, leading students to turn to their preferred method of stress relief: substances. While the obvious benefits of…

Dalhousie Scraps Notetaker Program, First Step In Initiative To Improve Accessibility 

October 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University has removed its notetaker program, which allowed students with accommodations to access lecture notes uploaded by fellow classmates. This was a shock to many students…

Kim Brooks Moves Into Student Housing To Improve Her Rate My Professor Score Following DFA Strike

October 18, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Oct. 12 was a dark night on Jennings Street as eyewitnesses watched a U-Haul full of DJ equipment pull up, signalling the arrival of Dalhousie University President…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 4 … 28

You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar.

  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
  • Comics
  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
  • Disclaimer
  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
  • Gazette To Hold Editorial Meeting At The Last Remaining Blockbuster Storefront To Show Solidarity With Other Dying Industries
  • Halifax Council Issue
  • Headlines
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Meet The Team
  • Merch Orders
  • Newest Issue
  • Old News
  • Sign-Up for Mackerel Updates
  • Socials
  • TA Strike Issue
  • Testimony