R.I.P. Sam Creighton
HALIFAX, N.S. — It is with minor and just-saying-it-to-be-polite sadness that the Mackerel announces the passing of our former editor-in-chief, Sam Creighton. Creighton was 24 years old when he passed…
Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue
HALIFAX, N.S. — For years, a statue on Dalhousie University’s campus has left students confused, intrigued and a little turned on. Now, the Marine Venus statue on University Avenue, outside…
Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership
HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s administration has seen how much money scammers can make on ticket sale platforms, and wants in on the action. Following the charges for enrolment confirmation…
The HRM White Monster Theory
HALIFAX, N.S. — With another midterm season coming to a close, Dalhousie University statistics PhD candidate Mateo Peachwood has discovered a startling correlation between energy drink purchases and GPA declines.…
Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)
HALIFAX, N.S. — In a huge upset to Dalhousie University’s casual non-competitive mixed-gender intramural ultimate frisbee league, the star player of Team Suck My Disc is retiring just before the…
A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex
HALIFAX, N.S. — Are you struggling to find your ideal match? Someone who’ll take care of you and love you unconditionally? Do you want to settle down with that ideal…
MrBeast Appointed Marketing Executive of Tim Hortons Roll Up To Win Contest, Introduces Shocking New Prizes — and Punishments
HALIFAX, N.S. — Tim Hortons is bringing back the iconic Roll Up To Win contest in honour of its 40th anniversary, but some argue the scale of the contest has…
Dalhousie Unveils New AI Counsellor, No More Effective Than You’d Expect
HALIFAX, N.S. — With various cuts announced to all Dalhousie University programs and services, Student Health and Wellness has taken a devastating hit. The previous team of four mental health…
‘Olympic Village For Nerds’; Inside the Computer Science Sexcapades of the Dalhousie Hackathon
HALIFAX, N.S. — In what has been described as “the Olympics of computer science,” Dalhousie University hosted a hackathon for students from Feb. 20 to 22. Thousands of students came…
Andy Fillmore Gifts The Irish Ambassador A Box Of Lucky Charms As An Act Of Solidarity
HALIFAX, N.S. — In what political aides described as “tone deaf” and “as close to a white-on-white microaggression as you can get,” Andy Fillmore recently gifted an Irish ambassador a…