BEND, OR— With each passing year, fewer students are reading print newspapers, and the Dalhousie Gazette is not immune (for those unaware, the Dalhousie Gazette is the newspaper found on the backside of Mackerel print editions). In an effort to show solidarity with other dying industries, the Gazette editorial team decided to hold one of their October editorial meetings at the world’s last remaining Blockbuster in Bend, Oregon.
To further pay homage to ways of the past, the pilgrimage was undertaken by horse-drawn caravan. The team was pleased to announce the trip took a short 81 days, only put behind schedule once as a result of missing the Digby to St. John ferry. Two writers were lost to scurvy along the voyage, a number considered low for the cross-continental trek.
Xavier Ross, a survivor of the Bend excursion, was hoping to have a written account of the harrowing journey finished upon arrival to the quaint Oregon town, but ran out of quill ink mid-journey. The Mackerel has been informed that the epic shall be published shortly after the party’s return to Halifax.
The manager of the remaining Blockbuster storefront was shocked upon the Gazette’s arrival, exclaiming, “The last time somebody came through here, print newspapers were still a viable form of disseminating information!” As the editorial meeting began, audible gasps from Blockbuster employees were heard throughout the store as the presenter tried to discreetly close a Netflix tab.
Distribution strategies were one of the key talking points at the meeting— considering the continued success of Blockbuster in Bend, an agreement was signed to send all print issues of the Gazette to the Oregon town biweekly.
A summary of the meeting was faxed back to the student body in Halifax where it was promptly ignored.
Concept by Joseph Thomson, article by the whole damn Mackerel Team