Behind The Stripes: The Real Dal Tiger
HALIFAX, NS—It’s 9:51 p.m. on a Monday. Tiger patrolman Clark Clarkson gets a call from his dispatcher with an all-to-familiar report. “Is it the Tiger again?” he says into his…
Unsuspecting Grad Student Trampled To Death After Class In The Ondaatje Is Let Out Early
HALIFAX, NS— Tragedy struck on Tuesday afternoon as Master’s student Melanie Jenkins was caught in a sudden stampede of students. Prof. Cait McNamara ended her first year physiology class in…
Damn-It: The Dumbest Person In Your Program Landed A Prestigious Co-op Job
HALIFAX, NS—Despite reports of being a “huge moron that no one likes”, Carl Tuckerson has accepted a summer internship as a business analyst at Google. Tuckerson’s classmate Taylor McConnell commented…
Best Places To Study On Campus
A comprehensive list of Dal's best study spots.
Student Apathetically Applies To Grad School In Ill-Fated Attempt To Prolong Entry Into Real World
HALIFAX, NS—No one feels less passionate about their own education than 5th year honours student Patrice Bexley. Nonetheless, she has spent hours pouring over her uninspired application for a Master’s…
Killam Library Seamlessly Repurposed As Maximum Security Prison
HALIFAX,NS—Dalhousie’s Killam Memorial Library has been repurposed as Canada’s newest maximum security prison. The library–which was expected to be closed for nine months–was only out of operation for three days…
Dalhousie Student Hits Rock Bottom: Expands Tinder Radius To Include SMU
HALIFAX, NS—Bright-eyed and bushy tailed, Nathan Miller entered the school year with one naive hope: that he may be able to find love between the streets of South and Quinpool.…
O-Week Leader In Hospital After Safe Sex Interpretive Dance Routine Results In Torn ACL
HALIFAX, NS—What began as an artistic display promoting safe sex practices ended in disaster as O-Week leader, Cassandra Bigetti, tore her ACL during a daring pirouette in front of an…
Students Begrudgingly Inviting Least Favorite Acquaintances To Parties As “Covid Numbers” No Longer Viable Excuse
As the difficulties of the pandemic slowly fade away, new obstacles have emerged for university students province-wide. With the prospects of restrictions lifting, and unchecked house parties returning, one fear…
Groundbreaking “Res-Online” Experience Created As Consolation For Hundreds Of Rejected Students
With hundreds of students being rejected from Dalhousie residences due to Covid-19 backlogs, an online alternative is being offered for the 2021/2022 school year. A spokesperson for “Res-Online” spoke to…