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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dal’s ‘Goblins and Ghosts’ class accidentally summons Prince of Darkness ‘Flo for poop’: inside Dal Innovates’ latest investment Dalhousie religious studies hires evangelical megachurch pastors Alberta sets the score: King’s holds separation referendum Wallace McCain’s journal reveals intimate feelings for Henry Hicks

“The Streets Will Toughen Her Up”: Students Discuss What To Do With House Cat Over Christmas Break

December 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—For many groups of university roommates, large house decisions are rarely given much consideration in terms of long term consequences. This rings especially true for a group of four…

Letter To The Editor: It’s Never Too Late To Give Up On Your Dreams

December 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Finals season has officially begun—but as you brace for the 50% exam in that class you hate, consider this: you can still quit. At this time of year, it’s easy…

King’s Student Heartbroken After Phoebe Bridgers Is Nowhere To Be Found In Their Spotify Wrapped

December 3, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Bianca Fironia was found in a heap in the residence bathroom after she discovered that her spotify wrapped did not contain one mention of Phoebe Bridgers. “Now all my…

With Discovery Of Killam Tunnels, Student Able To Cut Daily Outdoor Time Down To Mere Seconds

November 26, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—For many first-year students at Dalhousie, new campus areas and features are constantly being discovered. One student, Wilfred Grisham, has found this especially true, delighted when he found he…

Letter To The Editor: Maybe They Should Keep The LSC Closed Forever

November 18, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—This past Sunday, a fire broke out in the biology wing of the Life Sciences Centre. Today it opens back up to students… but what if it didn’t? What…

Wearying Burden: Student Has Seen 180 Elderly Naked Men At The Dalplex

November 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Male patrons of the Dalplex have been forced to grapple with the harsh reality of what lies in their future. It has almost become a guarantee that elderly men will…

Proof Of Unvaccination Required At Local Abortion Protest

November 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Anti-abortionists are once again hitting the streets of Halifax to protest, this time with a new mandate. To participate in the protest, all attendees must not be vaccinated against…

Landlord Introduces Fun, New “Who Can Pay The Most Rent” Contest Amoung Tenants

November 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Mark Hogan is always looking for new ways to build stronger relationships with his tenants. “First and foremost I care about people. When a tenant tells me the running…

Heartwarming: Abandoned Couch Adopted By Loving Frat House Family

November 3, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—On the first day of every month thousands of couches are left on the street in cities across the country. Though many are tragically sent to the landfill, some…

University of King’s College Introduces Intramural Poetry Reading

October 26, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—After years of petitioning from students, the University of King’s College has finally introduced poetry reading to their intramural roster. “I’ve been doing competitive poetry reading since elementary school.”…

Posts pagination

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You missed

Dal’s ‘Goblins and Ghosts’ class accidentally summons Prince of Darkness

November 5, 2026 Emily Rogers

‘Flo for poop’: inside Dal Innovates’ latest investment

November 5, 2026 Jacob Waldner

Dalhousie religious studies hires evangelical megachurch pastors

November 5, 2026 Charlie McLaughlin

Alberta sets the score: King’s holds separation referendum

November 5, 2026 Lilly Spoelstra
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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