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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

DSU Board Member Too Hungover From Attending Hoco To Attend Press Conference Condemning Hoco

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Sunday, Oct. 1st, saw yet another eventful Hoco street party at Dalhousie University. While the Dalhousie Student Union typically has a press conference condemning Hoco and those…

Students Hold Inauguration Party For President Kim Brooks Called “Homecoming”

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — “Oh, this is easily the biggest party of the year. Every time” explained Henry Griffin-Gilligan. “I haven’t slept in three days, that’s how dedicated I am to…

Girl Throwing Up In Residence Washroom Yet Again, Staff Claim She Is ‘Part Of The Ambiance’

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Over the past few weeks, Dalhousie University students have become familiar with a particular individual frequenting their residence washrooms. The student, who Dalhousie has requested to remain…

Dalhousie To Sell Dock Space For Boat Parking, Still Sells More Permits Than Spots Available

September 29, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Dalhousie University is breaking boundaries for post-secondary institutions and adding to the list of firsts accomplished by Dal. This time, Dalhousie has made headlines for its unique…

Student Launches Protest Against Dal Art Centre Over Installation Of Their Father Yelling at Them When They Were A Child

September 29, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Tensions were high this afternoon over a controversial piece of art that was recently put on display in the Dalhousie Arts Centre. The piece in question caused…

Community Assistant Team Member Disciplined For “Gay Son Or Thot Daughter” Icebreaker

September 22, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Bixley LePaige, third year Dalhousie University recreation management student and Risley Hall CAT (Community Assistant Team), was called in for discipline by the Residence Life Team this…

Gamer Set To Graduate From Agricultural Campus After Four Year Long Journey To Touch Grass

September 22, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — As a new term begins on the Truro Agricultural Campus, Gregory Madden prepares to embark on the last year of his degree, and his nearly four year…

Try-Hard Student Books Two Classes Over Each Other, Attempts ‘Two Simultaneous Dates’ Sitcom Cliche

September 14, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Bruce Geller, a student aiming to earn both an engineering degree and neuroscience degree simultaneously, takes his schooling very seriously. In an attempt to fast track earning…

Dalhousie And HRP Collaborate In Foolproof Plan To Prevent Shoplifting

September 14, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Dalhousie University has recently announced that they will be collaborating with Halifax Regional Police to bring down the number of shoplifters in Halifax. This follows many stores…

University Of King’s College Boasts Record Breaking POC Enrollment Of Five Incoming Students

September 8, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS– The sound of fireworks, cheering, and celebratory music could be heard from across the Coburg Road area on Friday night, originating from the University of King’s College campus.…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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