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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dal’s ‘Goblins and Ghosts’ class accidentally summons Prince of Darkness ‘Flo for poop’: inside Dal Innovates’ latest investment Dalhousie religious studies hires evangelical megachurch pastors Alberta sets the score: King’s holds separation referendum Wallace McCain’s journal reveals intimate feelings for Henry Hicks

Letter To The Editor: What You Said About My Major Really Hurt My Feelings And I’d Like You To Stop

March 1, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

NOTE FROM THE TEAM: This was an article written by our editor in chief, Cheeky Williams, intended to be a part of a ‘Letter to the Editor’ column that was…

OPINION: Veronica I know You Follow This Page Please Just Call Me Back We Can Work Things Out

March 1, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

NOTE FROM THE TEAM: This story was submitted by a contributor under the name of Carlo Aguilar. The opinions expressed here are entirely his own and are not representative of…

Dalhousie Neuralink Recipient Enters Comatose State After Campus Wifi Crashes (Again)

March 1, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.– Dalhousie University’s resources and extensive list of well respected researchers have allowed fourth-year neuroscience student, Bilal Khan, the opportunity to receive a Neuralink brain chip implant. In the…

Student Accidentally Sends Love Letter To Prof To Entire Class (Again)

February 16, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Valentine’s Day has come and gone and love is still in the air. Sometimes, however, love can get out of hand, as shown by English student Marjorie…

First-Year Attempts To Navigate Tunnels, Ends Up Going On Journey Of Self-Discovery

February 16, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

(UNDER) HALIFAX, N.S.— Wednesday morning, first-year student Zack Williams had two of his classes back-to-back, one in the Killam Library and one in the Life Sciences Centre. Williams decided to…

“Action: Drop” Student Uses DalOnline To Clear Dating Roster

February 5, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Cuffing season has come and gone, and many students have been left with nothing but a large roster of flings. Many students have turned to DalOnline’s registration options…

Dalhousie Decides To Divest From Students Entirely; Converts Campus Into Massive Oil Rig

February 1, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — On this beautiful morning, many Dalhousie residence students were awoken by the soothing sounds of construction. However, upon venturing outside to attend their various classes, many students…

Man Pursues Triple Major In Film, Commerce and Comp Sci After Watching The Godfather, The Wolf Of Wall Street and The Social Network Back To Back

February 1, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Students of Dalhousie University have continued to raise the academic bar this week with the recent announcement of a student aiming to graduate with a triple major. Kyle…

Returning Students Set ‘Hitting Rock-Bottom’ As New Year’s Resolution, So They Can Only Go Up From There

January 19, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Andy Dryer, a second-year business student, set an unusual new year’s resolution, along with some of his classmates. While many approach the new year with a “new and…

Top 6 Ways To Avoid Eye Contact With Your Residence Neighbours

January 19, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— As residences reopen this January and students return to their dorm rooms, introverted students are once again facing the challenge of having to walk past their peers in…

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You missed

Dal’s ‘Goblins and Ghosts’ class accidentally summons Prince of Darkness

November 5, 2026 Emily Rogers

‘Flo for poop’: inside Dal Innovates’ latest investment

November 5, 2026 Jacob Waldner

Dalhousie religious studies hires evangelical megachurch pastors

November 5, 2026 Charlie McLaughlin

Alberta sets the score: King’s holds separation referendum

November 5, 2026 Lilly Spoelstra
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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