Skip to content
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

  • Home
  • Issues
    • Newest Issue
    • TA Strike Issue
    • Halifax Council Issue
    • Archived Issues
    • Headlines
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimony
  • Disclaimer
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Comics

Latest Post

A guide to performative LinkedIn posting Microsoft launches new short-form content feature for Authenticator R.I.P. Sam Creighton Dalhousie to construct ‘terrible noise generators’ outside Howe Hall Students rejoice over LSC bathroom’s indefinite closure

Danger From the Sky! Mercury Keeps Students From Doing Their Homework Yet Again

October 26, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Another Mercury retrograde has come and gone, but the disturbance to Dalhousie University’s student body continues to echo. Some students have come forward and shared their experiences…

King’s Student Spends Halloween As Only Day Of Year They Are Not Dressed Like A Vampire

October 26, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS — The University Of King’s College as an institution is no stranger to the occult, offering multiple courses on topics like vampires, werewolves and witchcraft. In part due…

Geology Student Grateful For Dal Dental Insurance After Only Eating Rocks Since Start Of Term

October 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — With Halifax rent prices as high as they are, many students have fallen back on ever reliable, affordable meals like ramen to save cash. However, geology student…

Leaked Faculty Memo Details Plans For Student Engagement, Recommends Subway Surfers Playing In Corner Of Lectures

October 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Student engagement is at an all-time low at Dalhousie University. A very recent study has shown that 76 per cent of students currently reading this article are…

Dalhousie Mackerel To Begin Producing Bilingual Articles // We Ce Going Tu Speaké La French

October 13, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Following a remarkable history of providing the English speaking Dalhousie University community with generation-defining journalism, it is with a distinguished sense of pride that The Dalhousie Mackerel…

Triple A Opens Speakeasy Pizza Parlour In Protest Of Forced 1 a.m. Closing Times

October 13, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — After having a bylaw passed forcing the business hours of Triple A Convenience and Pizzeria to end at 1 a.m., owner Kirk Peetsa knew something had to…

DSU Board Member Too Hungover From Attending Hoco To Attend Press Conference Condemning Hoco

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Sunday, Oct. 1st, saw yet another eventful Hoco street party at Dalhousie University. While the Dalhousie Student Union typically has a press conference condemning Hoco and those…

Students Hold Inauguration Party For President Kim Brooks Called “Homecoming”

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — “Oh, this is easily the biggest party of the year. Every time” explained Henry Griffin-Gilligan. “I haven’t slept in three days, that’s how dedicated I am to…

Girl Throwing Up In Residence Washroom Yet Again, Staff Claim She Is ‘Part Of The Ambiance’

October 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Over the past few weeks, Dalhousie University students have become familiar with a particular individual frequenting their residence washrooms. The student, who Dalhousie has requested to remain…

Dalhousie To Sell Dock Space For Boat Parking, Still Sells More Permits Than Spots Available

September 29, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Dalhousie University is breaking boundaries for post-secondary institutions and adding to the list of firsts accomplished by Dal. This time, Dalhousie has made headlines for its unique…

Posts pagination

1 … 16 17 18 … 29

You missed

A guide to performative LinkedIn posting

October 8, 2026 Charlie McLaughlin

Microsoft launches new short-form content feature for Authenticator

October 8, 2026 Zacharie Zegers

R.I.P. Sam Creighton

October 8, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie to construct ‘terrible noise generators’ outside Howe Hall

October 8, 2026 Celeste Boutilier
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar.

  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
  • Comics
  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
  • Disclaimer
  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
  • Gazette To Hold Editorial Meeting At The Last Remaining Blockbuster Storefront To Show Solidarity With Other Dying Industries
  • Halifax Council Issue
  • Headlines
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Meet The Team
  • Merch Orders
  • Newest Issue
  • Old News
  • Sign-Up for Mackerel Updates
  • Socials
  • TA Strike Issue
  • Testimony