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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

All Of Professor’s Positive Rate My Prof Entries Found To Originate From Same IP Address

March 6, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Late last night a shocking discovery was made by The Dalhousie Mackerel’s digital investigation team. After hours of hacking, it was discovered that the Rate My Professor…

The Five Hottest Places To Visit In Your Home Town Over Reading Week

February 25, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The Closest Convenience Store To Your House Breathe in that nostalgia — and potentially asbestos. Featuring amazing customer service from a cashier who may have not left the store since…

Increase In Computer Science Majors’ Hinge Matches May Be A Recession Indicator

February 17, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS – Amid frightening news stories about a potential recession, tumultuous world events and inflation, Harry Lewis, a third-year computer science major was shocked this past month to see…

Dalhousie Announces Geology Field Course In Which Students Sift Through Gravel At Future Arena Site

February 17, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — An old parking lot beside Wickwire Field on South Street has been left as a fenced off gravel pit after Dalhousie was unable to secure contractors for…

Computer Science Student Programs AI Girlfriend, Gets Dumped

February 17, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — “I’m just happy she’s doing well,” third-year student Mark Armstrong told The Mackerel, in reference to the artificial intelligence program he created to be his partner. He’d…

Uptick In Campus Closures Reported As Funding Increases Allow For Change Of Batteries In Laboratory Radon Detectors

February 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Increased building closures on Dalhousie’s Studley campus have sparked intrigue and worry from students and staff. Dalhousie security has issued multiple alerts over the past few months,…

Concerns Grow That Dalhousie School Of Nursing Not Dysfunctional Enough To Prepare Students For Workforce

February 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Advocates for improving healthcare in Nova Scotia are calling on the Dalhousie School of Nursing to change several key faculty policies. It is claimed that the current…

Halifax Transit Criticized For Exclusively Hiring Bus Drivers Born Much Past Due Date

February 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Halifax Transit has come under fire this past week, as an online job ad revealed prejudiced hiring policies. As could be expected, the ad, posted to the…

Student Dons Mask, Large Sunglasses, To Hide Identity On Way To Hook Up At SMU

February 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — After receiving a “you up?” text at 11PM last night, a first-year Dalhousie student (who requested that their name be omitted from this article) donned a baseball…

Selection Process Of New Dalhousie President Revealed To Be Throwing A Blanket Over Candidates’ Heads And Seeing How Long It Takes For Them To Remove It

February 5, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — As Dalhousie reaches its 3rd week without a permanent replacement for its previous president, a palpable excitement can be felt throughout the campus as students and faculty…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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