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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Religious Studies Students Now Able To Earn Credits By Interacting With Victoria Park Missionaries

January 29, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — The registrar’s office has issued an updated list of requirements for students pursuing a minor in religious studies. If a student can prove to have made eye…

Sweater Vest Wearers Feeling Burdened By Inability To Show Off Mushroom Tricep Tattoos In Winter Weather

January 27, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

As winter temperatures set in, the ecosystems of Nova Scotia change, with species going into hibernation, lakes freezing, and vegetation dying. Blundstones and puffers emerge from closets, first-years think they’re…

TAs Upset By Successful DFA Negotiations After Spending Christmas Break Preparing Picket Signs For Faculty

January 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Despite uncertainty leading up to the winter term, Dalhousie University and the Dalhousie Faculty Association have come to an agreement, avoiding a faculty strike. While this turn…

Committed To Recycling: Student Reuses Fall Semester Notebooks After Never Once Taking Notes

January 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Each new year, many are inspired to make changes in their lives, whether that be reaching fitness goals or giving back more to their community. For third-year…

Dalhousie Appoints Magic Eight Ball As New President

January 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — On December 31st, 2022, Deep Saini stepped down as President and Vice-Chancellor of Dalhousie University. Dr. Frank Harvey stepped in during the search for a permanent replacement.…

Deep Saini And The Board Of Governors Choir Release ‘Twelve Days Of Dalmas’ Holiday Carol

December 13, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

On the first day of Dalmas, Deep Saini sent to me A 3% tuition increase On the second day of Dalmas, Deep Saini sent to me Two pizza shops closing…

Student Astounded As Group Project Seemingly Self Completes

November 29, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Poppy Longworth, a third year sustainability major, was met with a surprise after logging onto brightspace for the first time in weeks — she received a grade…

Commerce Students On Tuition Hike: “I Hope They Raise It More So I’ll Be Inspired To Grind Even Harder”

November 29, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Most Dalhousie students were left frustrated after drastic increases in international tuition were recently announced by Dalhousie administration. However, some students welcome the hikes. “I love it.…

King’s Student Pays $10,000 For Opportunity To Buy And Read 30 Books

November 29, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—King’s student Bartholomew Wingem was ecstatic when he received his acceptance letter into the First Year Foundation program (FYP). He was one of a lucky few selected to pay…

CUPE 3912 Strike Rehabilitation Program Allowing Former Picketers To March On Dalplex Track And Scream

November 29, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

“DAL HAS DEEP POCKETS! DAL HAS DEEP POCKETS!” Since the end of the CUPE 3912 strike, students have become accustomed to blood curdling chants and wails muffling out the usual…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
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