Skip to content
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

  • Home
  • Issues
    • Newest Issue
    • TA Strike Issue
    • Halifax Council Issue
    • Archived Issues
    • Headlines
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimony
  • Disclaimer
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Comics

Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Student Left With No Choice But To Believe In Paranormal Activity After Being Ghosted Seven Times This Semester

November 10, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS — Halloween has come and gone, but spooky season is not yet over for some students at Dalhousie University. One student in particular, Glebe Fleeman, is changing his…

Free On-Campus Date Ideas For You And Your 47th First Date

November 10, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS — Cuffing season is approaching, and many Dalhousie University students are struggling to finance their never-ending stream of first dates. If this is you, look no further, The…

Heroic Professor Fights To Continue Educating Through Difficult Circumstances

November 3, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Engineering professor Glen Daniels refuses to let anything get in the way of his students’ learning. The past year has been fraught with difficulties for Daniels, from hurricanes,…

Straight King’s Student Attempts To Blend In With Queer Majority After Feeling Oppressed On Campus

November 3, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS— First year University of King’s College student Alexander Murphy has had a uniquely difficult transition into university life, struggling to fit into his campus community, though not for…

Danger From the Sky! Mercury Keeps Students From Doing Their Homework Yet Again

October 26, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Another Mercury retrograde has come and gone, but the disturbance to Dalhousie University’s student body continues to echo. Some students have come forward and shared their experiences…

King’s Student Spends Halloween As Only Day Of Year They Are Not Dressed Like A Vampire

October 26, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS — The University Of King’s College as an institution is no stranger to the occult, offering multiple courses on topics like vampires, werewolves and witchcraft. In part due…

Geology Student Grateful For Dal Dental Insurance After Only Eating Rocks Since Start Of Term

October 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — With Halifax rent prices as high as they are, many students have fallen back on ever reliable, affordable meals like ramen to save cash. However, geology student…

Leaked Faculty Memo Details Plans For Student Engagement, Recommends Subway Surfers Playing In Corner Of Lectures

October 20, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Student engagement is at an all-time low at Dalhousie University. A very recent study has shown that 76 per cent of students currently reading this article are…

Dalhousie Mackerel To Begin Producing Bilingual Articles // We Ce Going Tu Speaké La French

October 13, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — Following a remarkable history of providing the English speaking Dalhousie University community with generation-defining journalism, it is with a distinguished sense of pride that The Dalhousie Mackerel…

Triple A Opens Speakeasy Pizza Parlour In Protest Of Forced 1 a.m. Closing Times

October 13, 2023 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — After having a bylaw passed forcing the business hours of Triple A Convenience and Pizzeria to end at 1 a.m., owner Kirk Peetsa knew something had to…

Posts pagination

1 … 14 15 16 … 28

You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar.

  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
  • Comics
  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
  • Disclaimer
  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
  • Gazette To Hold Editorial Meeting At The Last Remaining Blockbuster Storefront To Show Solidarity With Other Dying Industries
  • Halifax Council Issue
  • Headlines
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Meet The Team
  • Merch Orders
  • Newest Issue
  • Old News
  • Sign-Up for Mackerel Updates
  • Socials
  • TA Strike Issue
  • Testimony