Confused Parents Enroll 11 Month Old Child In First Year Classes
HALIFAX, N.S.— The fall semester of the 2024 school year has seen the most diverse set of first-year students in the history of Dalhousie University. One student in particular caught…
Professor Takes Well Deserved Nap After Designing New Cover For Last Year’s Textbook
HALIFAX, N.S.— “History of Pirate Fashion” Professor, Dr. Ronald David Whitaker, was caught taking a blissful forty winks on the second floor of the King’s New Academic Building after successfully…
Three Best Places For First Year Students To Make Friends
HALIFAX, N.S.— Starting university can be a scary experience. Moving to a new city, surrounded by freaks you don’t know, it is all quite jarring. Luckily for new students at…
Demand For Enrolment Space In Intro To Poetry Increases Drastically Following Announcement Of The Tortured Poets Department
HALIFAX, N.S.— Dalhousie University administration is frantically rearranging the 2024/2025 academic calendar following the announcement of Taylor Swift’s 15th studio album. The Tortured Poets Department debuts April 19, just a…
Top 5 Songs To Play Loudly To Help Set The Mood For Your Residence Neighbour’s Hookup
HALIFAX, N.S.— Thin walls are an inescapable aspect of residence life that many are very familiar with. No sound is secret, nothing is discrete and, in particular, the sounds of…
Keep Them Guessing – Cyclists To Hold Region-Wide Opposite Day By Biking Into Oncoming Traffic
HALIFAX, N.S. — There has been quite the stir recently on proper bike etiquette within the Halifax Regional Municipality. A small group of cyclists have stepped up to meet the…
Professor Extends Assignment’s Due Date, Saving The Lives Of Several Close Family Members
HALIFAX, N.S.— Rarely do miracles occur on Dalhousie University campus, yet this past Friday a wave of inexplicable luck was experienced by members of a first year management class. Students…
Irishman Reaches End Of Rainbow, Finds No Pot Of Gold, Only Gay Club
HALIFAX, N.S.— Rory McCarthy, an Irish student at the University O’King’s College has recently been searching for the elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and the…
Halifax Landlords Double Rent Prices After Labeling Mice As ‘Undeclared Tenants’
HALIFAX, N.S.— Halifax landlords have once again found new and creative ways to scam unsuspecting students, with some landlords increasing rent prices on units with ‘undeclared tenants.’ Wilbur Barrett, a…
Letter To The Editor: What You Said About My Major Really Hurt My Feelings And I’d Like You To Stop
NOTE FROM THE TEAM: This was an article written by our editor in chief, Cheeky Williams, intended to be a part of a ‘Letter to the Editor’ column that was…