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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Dal Admin Unveils Four Step Plan To Put Stop To Hoco

September 27, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, N.S. — As the unsanctioned street party known as Hoco draws near, Dalhousie University administration is eager to prove they have learned from past failures in their attempts to…

Hoco Declared as Holiday in HRM

September 27, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — It is a special time of year for all of Halifax, as citizens begin to make preparations for Dal Hoco. This year is especially special, as hoco…

Goldberg Named “Sexiest Campus Building” For Third Consecutive Year

September 27, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. – The Dalhousie Student Union has once again tallied the votes on their annual campus building survey, and write-in candidate, the Goldberg Computer Science Building, has once again…

I Think The Apple’s Rotten Right To The Core: Dining Hall Still Committed To Brat Summer

September 27, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— As the school year bumps to a start, many first-year students are making the adjustment to a residence lifestyle. Becoming accustomed to the dining hall in particular is…

Confused Parents Enroll 11 Month Old Child In First Year Classes

September 18, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— The fall semester of the 2024 school year has seen the most diverse set of first-year students in the history of Dalhousie University. One student in particular caught…

Professor Takes Well Deserved Nap After Designing New Cover For Last Year’s Textbook

September 18, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— “History of Pirate Fashion” Professor, Dr. Ronald David Whitaker, was caught taking a blissful forty winks on the second floor of the King’s New Academic Building after successfully…

Three Best Places For First Year Students To Make Friends

September 18, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— Starting university can be a scary experience. Moving to a new city, surrounded by freaks you don’t know, it is all quite jarring. Luckily for new students at…

Demand For Enrolment Space In Intro To Poetry Increases Drastically Following Announcement Of The Tortured Poets Department

April 2, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— Dalhousie University administration is frantically rearranging the 2024/2025 academic calendar following the announcement of Taylor Swift’s 15th studio album. The Tortured Poets Department debuts April 19, just a…

Top 5 Songs To Play Loudly To Help Set The Mood For Your Residence Neighbour’s Hookup

April 2, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— Thin walls are an inescapable aspect of residence life that many are very familiar with. No sound is secret, nothing is discrete and, in particular, the sounds of…

Keep Them Guessing – Cyclists To Hold Region-Wide Opposite Day By Biking Into Oncoming Traffic

April 2, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — There has been quite the stir recently on proper bike etiquette within the Halifax Regional Municipality. A small group of cyclists have stepped up to meet the…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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