Missing Man Found, “Broken” On Halifax Pier
HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events, Patrick Merf, a man who has been missing since 1778, has turned up alive on a Halifax pier. Merf is believed…
Low Voter Turnout Changes DSU Presidency To Hired Position
HALIFAX, N.S. — Another Dalhousie Student Union election has come and gone, and in response to a shocking polling turnout of three per cent of the student population, the board…
All Changes Coming to Dalhousie Meal Halls In The 2025/2026 School Year
HALIFAX, N.S. — In response to several complaints and three hospitalisations, Dalhousie University has revealed a plan outlining changes to meal hall services starting September 2025. The changes include the…
U.S. Tariffs Cause Smirnoff Withdrawals Amongst First Years
HALIFAX, N.S. — The recent U.S. tariffs on imported alcohol have triggered an unexpected crisis amid Smirnoff Ice shortages affecting Dalhousie’s first-year students. The 275ml bottles of sugary regret, long…
Guy With (Seriously) Nothing Else Going On Attends Every Single Masters Thesis Defense
HALIFAX, N.S. — If you have an active dal.ca email address, and you’re unfortunate enough to be signed up automatically for a certain mailing list, you might have received one,…
Halifax Council Calls In Budgeting Expert To Make Annual Budget, Broke University Student Taps In
HALIFAX, N.S. — Halifax Regional Council recently held the first budget meeting since the new council was sworn in. However the budget meeting went differently this time around, as most…
Top Five Jobs for Recent Arts Graduates
HALIFAX, N.S. —- Life as a recent graduate can be scary. You may not know what career path is right for you, and if you were an arts major, jokes…
Student Home For Reading Week Shocked to Discover Siblings Don’t Want to be Temporary Best Friends
HALIFAX, N.S. — Third-year medical science student, Clara Richard, returned to her hometown of Stratford, ON. this reading week. “Nothing like the men back home to make me feel better…
Band Night at Oasis: A Night of Talent(?) and Tinnitus
HALIFAX, N.S. — Another Friday night, another legendary band night at Halifax’s beloved local bar Oasis, where the beer is warm, the sound is questionable, and the crowd is sweaty.…
Opinion: You’re Gonna Be Alone Forever
HALIFAX, N.S. — Another February 14 has arrived and you’re alone, in your room, listening to your neighbours have unnecessarily loud sex for the third time this evening. It seems…