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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

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November 21, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, N.S. — Hey New Bestie! My name is Belinda Ringworm and I am a master’s student at Dalhousie University, currently working on my thesis where I am studying the…

Horrible Roommate Excuses Behaviour By Claiming House Is Haunted

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events, the Halifax Ghost Walk is adding another haunted landmark to their ghost tour. Joining the likes of cemeteries and Citadel, a…

Pumpkin Spice Latte Haunts The Killam Post-Halloween

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax N.S. — On Monday, employees at the Second Cup in the Killam Memorial Library fell into horror after announcing they will prolong the sale of pumpkin spice lattes until…

Professor Comes To Class Dressed Up As Sabrina Carpenter After Saying The Midterm Would Be ‘Short N’Sweet’

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Nowhere, not even the classroom is safe from the chokehold Sabrina Carpenter has on everyone you know. After hearing many reports from some very disturbed undergrads, we…

Five Terrifying Halloween Costumes For Dalhousie Students

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Halloween is quickly approaching, and coming up with costume ideas while in the midst of midterm season can be a struggle for university students. Luckily for Dalhousie…

Dal Tiger Deemed ‘Evolutionary Mystery’ By Science Faculty

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s faculty of biology has conducted many studies over the years that have expanded humans’ scientific understanding of the world. However, one mystery that continues to…

Dalhousie Admin Sends Faculty Tree Planting To Balance Out Million Dollar Investment In Fossil Fuels

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following controversy surrounding Dalhousie University’s investment in fossil fuel products and services, Dalhousie administration has released a press response to the controversy. Connor B. Jillian, a representative…

Top 5 Ways To Look Cool While Riding Your Electric Scooter To Campus

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Ever since rental scooters have popped up in the city, it has shortened many Gen Zers’ five minute commute into a two minute commute. Nothing quite says…

Commerce Student Demands Refund After Microeconomics Class Did Not “Match The Vibe” Of The Wolf Of Wall Street

October 29, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S.— Another Dalhousie commerce student has called it quits after attending their first ever microeconomics lecture and realizing that their degree will have zero resemblance to the 2014 best…

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour: The Search For 2025/26 Housing Begins 

September 27, 2024 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — This September, landlords have been busier than ever as students begin to search for their accommodations for the 2025/26 school year. Local landlord, Brian Anderson, reported working…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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