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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

The next Billboard No. 1: Dalhousie commissions new school song Brad Marchand seen visiting family under Oulton-Stanish Centre ahead of 2026-27 NHL season King’s Chapel Choir to headline KingsFest to compete with DalFest Mackerel exclusive: interview with Shane, new Off-Campus Council mascot Letter from the editor: a new chapter for the Mackerel

Howe Hall Repurposed Into Uranium Mine After Record-Breaking Levels Of Radiation In Kitchen

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s department of efficiency has made the executive decision to convert the beloved yet controversial student residence, Howe Hall, into a new uranium extraction site, according…

Dal Gazette To Replace Current Board Of Directors With Mice From Residence Dorms

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking decision, the Dalhousie Gazette has announced its board will no longer be comprised of current students. Instead, the volunteer positions will be filled by…

Tourist Group Gets Lost In Point Pleasant Park, Escalates To Yellowjackets Situation

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A simple walk to see a Halifax landmark ended in disaster for a group of tourists, when a stage band from an Ontario university visited Nova Scotia.…

Separatist Movement Crops Up on Agricultural Campus

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — On Tuesday, Dalhousie Agricultural Campus students from Truro, Nova Scotia, plan to march onto Studley campus in support of the separatist movement. The hashtag, “Ram into the…

Killam Library Forced To Evacuate After Photo Lab Chemical Spill

March 31, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Chaos erupted at Dalhousie University’s Killam Library late Thursday, when the Film Photography Society’s member, David Gomez, was seen leaving the darkroom on the fourth floor shortly…

DSU Write-In Candidate Wins By A Landslide

March 31, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — As the votes from the Google Form are electronically tallied, a shocking victory for the Dalhousie Student Union president position went to write-in candidate “Jug of Expired…

Dal Investment Society Crashes Stock Market

March 31, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events that no commerce student had on their 2025 bingo card, global markets plunged into chaos last Friday after the Dalhousie Investment…

The Dalhousie Gazette Closes Its Doors

March 31, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Time of death, April 1, 2025. During a meeting of the Dalhousie Student Union last month, keen-eyed treasurer Beth Moneyhandler made the observation that there was some…

Missing Man Found, “Broken” On Halifax Pier 

March 14, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events, Patrick Merf, a man who has been missing since 1778, has turned up alive on a Halifax pier. Merf is believed…

Low Voter Turnout Changes DSU Presidency To Hired Position

March 14, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Another Dalhousie Student Union election has come and gone, and in response to a shocking polling turnout of three per cent of the student population, the board…

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You missed

The next Billboard No. 1: Dalhousie commissions new school song

September 10, 2026 Jacob Waldner

Brad Marchand seen visiting family under Oulton-Stanish Centre ahead of 2026-27 NHL season

September 10, 2026 Jessica Enhaynes

King’s Chapel Choir to headline KingsFest to compete with DalFest

September 10, 2026 Sam Cline

Mackerel exclusive: interview with Shane, new Off-Campus Council mascot

September 10, 2026 Jacob Waldner
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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