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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Opinion: You Should Drop Out

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

University is a waste of time and money. What’s the point in paying upwards of $10,000 a year for a piece of paper that doesn’t guarantee you a job? You…

Dalhousie Students Need Dating Advice

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dating can be difficult, especially at Dalhousie. Everyone kind of sucks — at sex, communicating and demonstrating emotional intelligence, most of all. But worry not! No matter who you are,…

A Translation Guide For All Of Your Roomates Favourite Phrases

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — The people you live with in university can either make or break you. If you’re lucky, your roommates might end up being some of your lifelong friends.…

Question For The Culture:

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Now that the Blue Devil, Rocky Ram, the SMU Husky, the Axemen/women, Captain X, Sammy the Seahawk and Captain Crow have had number one teams with cheers about being sexy, wearing…

Five Tips To Pass Oral Exams 

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. —- Exam season is a stressful time for all students, but the stress faced by those enrolled in the University of King’s College’s Foundation Year Program is unique…

Howe Hall Repurposed Into Uranium Mine After Record-Breaking Levels Of Radiation In Kitchen

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s department of efficiency has made the executive decision to convert the beloved yet controversial student residence, Howe Hall, into a new uranium extraction site, according…

Dal Gazette To Replace Current Board Of Directors With Mice From Residence Dorms

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking decision, the Dalhousie Gazette has announced its board will no longer be comprised of current students. Instead, the volunteer positions will be filled by…

Tourist Group Gets Lost In Point Pleasant Park, Escalates To Yellowjackets Situation

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A simple walk to see a Halifax landmark ended in disaster for a group of tourists, when a stage band from an Ontario university visited Nova Scotia.…

Separatist Movement Crops Up on Agricultural Campus

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — On Tuesday, Dalhousie Agricultural Campus students from Truro, Nova Scotia, plan to march onto Studley campus in support of the separatist movement. The hashtag, “Ram into the…

Killam Library Forced To Evacuate After Photo Lab Chemical Spill

March 31, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Chaos erupted at Dalhousie University’s Killam Library late Thursday, when the Film Photography Society’s member, David Gomez, was seen leaving the darkroom on the fourth floor shortly…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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