Skip to content
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

  • Home
  • Issues
    • Newest Issue
    • TA Strike Issue
    • Halifax Council Issue
    • Archived Issues
    • Headlines
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimony
  • Disclaimer
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Comics

Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Call It Kismet

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

That first smile. A stolen glance. A stolen heart. A stolen car. A stolen identity. A police report. The flashing red and blue lights that dance like two lovers in…

How To Serve Man

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

There’s nothing quite like a home-cooked meal, shared with friends, family or if you run in the right circles, an exclusive guest list that appreciates the art of fine dining.…

Dalhousie Hockey Intramural Dynasty Used Spy, Sources Report

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Scooter McGriffin, a zamboni driver at the Halifax Forum, has been accused of selling Dalhousie University intramural teams’ game plans. McGriffin spent 40 years at the Forum. The Cheese Factory…

Dalhousie Athletics Replaced By New King’s Sports Teams 

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following the Dal Tiger’s publicized crash-out over the university’s failing sports teams (see opinions section), the athletics administration saw fit to remove all sports until the scandal…

Dalhousie University Reveals Men’s Soccer Lineup for 2025/2026 Season

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie is expecting a phenomenal soccer season in the 2025/2026 school year. In anticipation of the season, the school has released a sneak peek at the team’s…

5 Ways To Tell If Your Roommate Is Secretly The Dal Tiger

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

So you think your roommate is the Dal Tiger? No worries, the Mackerel is here to help guide your suspicions with five easy ways to tell if your roommate really…

Ditch your Dal Gazette stash with these eco-friendly tips and tricks

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

We here at the Dalhousie Gazette know that every student at Dalhousie keeps a copy of each paper in a dedicated box in their dorm. We appreciate your commitment to…

White Lotus Season Four Revealed To Take Place In Howe Hall

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In between seasons of The White Lotus, there is always lots of buzz about what exotic locale a group of unlucky tourists will visit next. And now,…

Paloma Diamond To Join Dal Theatre Faculty Following Oscars Snub

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following what many would deem “the snub of the century,” actress Paloma Diamond has chosen to exchange the palm trees of Los Angeles for the rain of…

Kim Brooks Releases Highly Anticipated Mixtape

April 1, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Vice chancellor and high lord of all education, Kim Brooks, has released her third highly anticipated mixtape since her reign began at Dalhousie University. “I put a…

Posts pagination

1 … 5 6 7 … 28

You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar.

  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
  • Comics
  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
  • Disclaimer
  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
  • Gazette To Hold Editorial Meeting At The Last Remaining Blockbuster Storefront To Show Solidarity With Other Dying Industries
  • Halifax Council Issue
  • Headlines
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Meet The Team
  • Merch Orders
  • Newest Issue
  • Old News
  • Sign-Up for Mackerel Updates
  • Socials
  • TA Strike Issue
  • Testimony