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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Student Home For Reading Week Shocked to Discover Siblings Don’t Want to be Temporary Best Friends

March 11, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Third-year medical science student, Clara Richard, returned to her hometown of Stratford, ON. this reading week. “Nothing like the men back home to make me feel better…

Band Night at Oasis: A Night of Talent(?) and Tinnitus

March 11, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Another Friday night, another legendary band night at Halifax’s beloved local bar Oasis, where the beer is warm, the sound is questionable, and the crowd is sweaty.…

Opinion: You’re Gonna Be Alone Forever

February 14, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Another February 14 has arrived and you’re alone, in your room, listening to your neighbours have unnecessarily loud sex for the third time this evening. It seems…

Romantic Revelation: The Two Worst Professors On Campus Are Married

February 14, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. – Students in PHIL0231 were in for a surprise this weekend upon spotting their professor, Dr. Schneider, hand in hand with an unbeloved PHIL0043 professor, Dr. Sherman. The…

King’s Student Arrested for Making Historically Accurate Cupid’s Arrows

February 14, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — A large crowd gathered in the King’s Quad the evening of February 14 after reports of a suspicious man. When police arrived at the scene, they found…

Opinion: AI Is Not Out To Get You

February 3, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. —- There’s been a lot of buzz lately about AI — apparently, some people are concerned that this friendly, helpful technology might one day turn on us. To…

Profile: Dal Commerce Society President Clayton Bordeaux

February 3, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. —- As the recently nominated president of the Dal Commerce Society, Clayton Bordeaux is responsible for one of the largest student societies at Dalhousie University. Here’s what commerce…

The Mackerel’s Exclusive Interview With Intramural Soccer MVP 

February 3, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — Following a historic win in a low commitment, non-competitive, casual intramural soccer game, the Mackerel was able to land an exclusive interview with Leona Messy, the most…

Five Signs You Are Getting Love Bombed

February 3, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — In today’s day and age, it’s hard to know when someone wants you for real or if they are all talk. We at the Mackerel are here…

Student Uses ‘Babygirl’ Tactics To Seduce Dal Tiger

January 22, 2025 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, N.S. — After a recent viewing of the film Babygirl, a Dalhousie University student has taken an extreme approach to gain the affections of the Dal Tiger. Jacob Romy,…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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