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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

A guide to performative LinkedIn posting Microsoft launches new short-form content feature for Authenticator R.I.P. Sam Creighton Dalhousie to construct ‘terrible noise generators’ outside Howe Hall Students rejoice over LSC bathroom’s indefinite closure

University Of King’s College To Celebrate ‘King George III Day” Instead Of Munro Day To Prove Its ‘Not Like Other Schools’

February 6, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS – As Dalhousie takes this Friday off to honour George Munro, King’s has instead opted to celebrate a different George: King George III. “As a school, we like…

Dalhousie Introduces New “Dal Let’s Be Quiet” Campaign In Effort To Continue Ignoring Student Mental Health Crisis

January 26, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Wednesday, January 26th marks the first annual “Dal Let’s Be Quiet” campaign, aimed to silence the conversation and increase the stigma of mental health issues, especially for students.…

Halifax Police Sleep Well Knowing Freezing Winds Keep Homeless Population Uncomfortable While They Are Off-Duty

January 13, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—An internal report into sleep deprivation within the Halifax Regional Police has shown that quality of sleep is directly correlated to an increase in wind chill. The report shows…

The Dal Tiger Sees Instability From Kellogg’s Workers Strike As Opportunity To Oust Tony The Tiger As Mascot

January 12, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— The Kellogg Company is vulnerable after experiencing eleven weeks of worker strikes that culminated in late December. The Dal Tiger has recognized this as a chance to usurp…

Dalhousie Cancels Class Due To Winter Weather, Saving Students Treacherous Journey From Bed To Desk

January 7, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Halifax has been struck yet again by dangerous winter weather. As a result, the decision has been made to suspend all classes for the remainder of the day in…

Fifth-Year Engineering Students Excited To Learn What Engineering Means As They Enter Final Semester

January 7, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—While the start of the winter semester can be stressful for many students, a handful of engineering majors are eagerly awaiting the beginning of classes as they hope to…

Calls For Safety Inspection Grow As Dalplex Revolving Doors Claimed Five Victims Over December Exam Period

January 6, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—An ambulance outside the Dalplex has become a common sight for many students and staff during the exam periods as the gymnasium revolving doors continue their reign of terror.…

Dalhousie Residences Able To Achieve Covid-Zero By Removing Students Entirely

January 4, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Dalhousie administration has taken bold action in reducing Covid cases within university residences: getting rid of student residents completely. The actions taken by Dalhousie are quickly becoming the…

Heartwarming: Local Man Touched That He Is Considered ‘Close’ Contact Of Someone He Thought Was Just An Acquaintance

December 31, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—With relationships strained by the numerous Covid restrictions implemented over the past two years, many are left with fractured friend groups, unsure of who they can really count on.…

“The Streets Will Toughen Her Up”: Students Discuss What To Do With House Cat Over Christmas Break

December 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—For many groups of university roommates, large house decisions are rarely given much consideration in terms of long term consequences. This rings especially true for a group of four…

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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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