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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Latest Post

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Landlord Introduces Fun, New “Who Can Pay The Most Rent” Contest Amoung Tenants

November 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Mark Hogan is always looking for new ways to build stronger relationships with his tenants. “First and foremost I care about people. When a tenant tells me the running…

Heartwarming: Abandoned Couch Adopted By Loving Frat House Family

November 3, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—On the first day of every month thousands of couches are left on the street in cities across the country. Though many are tragically sent to the landfill, some…

University of King’s College Introduces Intramural Poetry Reading

October 26, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—After years of petitioning from students, the University of King’s College has finally introduced poetry reading to their intramural roster. “I’ve been doing competitive poetry reading since elementary school.”…

Living With Roommates: How To Turn Silent Resentment Into Passive Aggression In Three Easy Steps

October 26, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Living with friends is not always easy, and care must be taken to not allow roommate arguments to boil over into friendships. The Mackerel team sat down to create a…

Behind The Stripes: The Real Dal Tiger

October 26, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—It’s 9:51 p.m. on a Monday. Tiger patrolman Clark Clarkson gets a call from his dispatcher with an all-to-familiar report. “Is it the Tiger again?” he says into his…

Unsuspecting Grad Student Trampled To Death After Class In The Ondaatje Is Let Out Early

October 20, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Tragedy struck on Tuesday afternoon as Master’s student Melanie Jenkins was caught in a sudden stampede of students. Prof. Cait McNamara ended her first year physiology class in…

Damn-It: The Dumbest Person In Your Program Landed A Prestigious Co-op Job

October 19, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—Despite reports of being a “huge moron that no one likes”, Carl Tuckerson has accepted a summer internship as a business analyst at Google. Tuckerson’s classmate Taylor McConnell commented…

Best Places To Study On Campus

October 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

A comprehensive list of Dal's best study spots.

Student Apathetically Applies To Grad School In Ill-Fated Attempt To Prolong Entry Into Real World

October 14, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—No one feels less passionate about their own education than 5th year honours student Patrice Bexley. Nonetheless, she has spent hours pouring over her uninspired application for a Master’s…

Killam Library Seamlessly Repurposed As Maximum Security Prison

September 15, 2021 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX,NS—Dalhousie’s Killam Memorial Library has been repurposed as Canada’s newest maximum security prison. The library–which was expected to be closed for nine months–was only out of operation for three days…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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