Skip to content
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

  • Home
  • Issues
    • Newest Issue
    • TA Strike Issue
    • Halifax Council Issue
    • Archived Issues
    • Headlines
  • Meet The Team
  • Testimony
  • Disclaimer
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Comics

Latest Post

The next Billboard No. 1: Dalhousie commissions new school song Brad Marchand seen visiting family under Oulton-Stanish Centre ahead of 2026-27 NHL season King’s Chapel Choir to headline KingsFest to compete with DalFest Mackerel exclusive: interview with Shane, new Off-Campus Council mascot Letter from the editor: a new chapter for the Mackerel

Dalhousie Security Terrified To Confront King’s Student Chain Smoking In Killam Study Area

February 28, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Alex Monet was apprehended by Dalhousie Security on Sunday night, but not before chain smoking cigarettes in the Killam for three straight hours. When questioned as to why…

Student Whose Parents Met In University Is Dangerously Close To Graduating Single

February 22, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Sasha Linden, a fourth-year biology major, finds herself in the midst of a quarter-life crisis after the starkrealization that her parents had already been dating for a year and a…

A Handy Guide To Your Professors’ Maritime Slang

February 22, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Maritimers are known for having a strange and unique vocabulary. For many Dalhousie students,understanding the slang your prof uses can be just as difficult as understanding the content they teach.We…

New Study Shows 100% Of Proposals Done With X-Rings End In Messy Divorce

February 18, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

X-rings are one of the shining symbols of a Maritime education. Those fortunate enough to havegraduated from StFX don the prestigious jewelry to let everyone know they once got their…

Walking Through Ice-Covered Halifax Commons Announced As Late Addition To 2022 Winter Olympics

February 11, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS — The 2022 Winter Olympics are currently underway in Beijing, but one special event will take place here in Halifax. The Halifax Commons is a place to roller…

Updated Dalhousie Student Insurance Removes Therapy Coverage Entirely In Lieu Of Mental Health Check-In Emails From Administration

February 10, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— For students who take advantage of Dalhousie’s insurance policies, therapy coverage will no longer be available during the winter semester. Felicity Galman, a spokesperson for the university, spoke…

Woman In Arts Becomes Woman In STEM After Performing At Home Rapid Test

February 9, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Following a COVID-19 scare last weekend, English student Melanie Fernsby decided to use her first at-home rapid test. Shortly after posting a photograph of her negative test on her Instagram…

Dalhousie Administration Covers Penis Statue With Recycling Bag In Effort To Promote Safe Sex Practices

February 8, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

With STI clinics shut down province-wide due to limited lab capacity, Dalhousie administrationhas become increasingly concerned for the sexual health of its students. As such, the bolddecision has been made…

Oldest Campus Paper In North America Enlists Satire Writers In Last-Ditch Effort To Make Students Care About Actual News

February 7, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

In early 2022, uncertainty still clouds the air, from COVID-19 disinformation to a constantbarrage of false political claims. Through all of this, one thing is certain: the world needs morefake…

University Of King’s College To Celebrate ‘King George III Day” Instead Of Munro Day To Prove Its ‘Not Like Other Schools’

February 6, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Halifax, NS – As Dalhousie takes this Friday off to honour George Munro, King’s has instead opted to celebrate a different George: King George III. “As a school, we like…

Posts pagination

1 … 23 24 25 … 28

You missed

The next Billboard No. 1: Dalhousie commissions new school song

September 10, 2026 Jacob Waldner

Brad Marchand seen visiting family under Oulton-Stanish Centre ahead of 2026-27 NHL season

September 10, 2026 Jessica Enhaynes

King’s Chapel Choir to headline KingsFest to compete with DalFest

September 10, 2026 Sam Cline

Mackerel exclusive: interview with Shane, new Off-Campus Council mascot

September 10, 2026 Jacob Waldner
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar.

  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
  • Comics
  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
  • Disclaimer
  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
  • Gazette To Hold Editorial Meeting At The Last Remaining Blockbuster Storefront To Show Solidarity With Other Dying Industries
  • Halifax Council Issue
  • Headlines
  • Mackerel Applications
  • Meet The Team
  • Merch Orders
  • Newest Issue
  • Old News
  • Sign-Up for Mackerel Updates
  • Socials
  • TA Strike Issue
  • Testimony