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Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue  Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership The HRM White Monster Theory Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular) A Guide To Modern Dating With An Oedipus Complex

Self-Proclaimed Girlboss Actually Just Woman Who’s Over Committed Herself

April 7, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Local influencer Rachel Gagnon has been making waves in the local LinkedIn community for her achievements. She is a full time management student, an MLM essential oil saleswoman,…

Student Recreates Series Of Traps From ‘Home Alone’ To Protect Secret Campus Washroom

April 6, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Over the course of her eight years as an undergrad at Dal, the most important thing Heather Long learned was how to protect her secret campus washroom. The…

Second Year Commerce Student Called ‘Easy’ For Having Over 500 LinkedIn Connections

April 5, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Everybody remembers their first LinkedIn connection. Some start making connections well before university, while other late bloomers don’t even think about starting their profile until third or fourth…

Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office

April 4, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Divest Dal, a Dalhousie student society, has its sights set on pressuring the university to liquidate its endowment holdings in fossil fuel giants, investing instead in more environmentally…

Dalhousie Animal Science Prof Resigns Amid Allegations Of Affair With The Dal Tiger

April 1, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Students of Greg Fury’s mammalian physiology course will have to finish out the semester with a new face leading the class. Fury announced over the weekend that he…

Study Shows 85% Of Commerce Students Have Not Seen The Last Third Of ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’

March 30, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS—A recent poll of the Dalhousie commerce department shows that the vast majority of its students did not know about the ending of what they claim to be their…

Unprotected Sex: Couple Ditches Masks As Mandates Lift

March 28, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

HALIFAX, NS— Many Nova Scotians are left feeling conflicted as mask mandates have lifted province wide. While some are nervous that it is too soon for masks to come off,…

Nova Scotian Catfish: Unsuspecting Woman Finds Herself On Date With Actual Fish Held In Tinder Profile Photo

March 22, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

TRURO, NS—With online dating apps dominating the scene in 2022, it is not uncommon to find that someone has misrepresented their looks when finally meeting in person. Stacey Wilhelm found…

Gym Renos For Dalhousie Agricultural Campus To Include Manual Hay Baling Station, Three New Shovels At Manure Pile

March 21, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

TRURO, NS—New additions to the Langille Athletic Center on the Truro Agricultural Campus were finally opened to students this past Tuesday. “We wish to offer our students the gold standard…

First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches

March 18, 2022 The Dalhousie Mackerel

TRURO, NS—In an effort to align itself with the rest of Dalhousie, the agriculture campus has finally adoptedBrightspace. The move has left many students and faculty members in distress. Bobby…

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You missed

Dalhousie Erects Vagina Monument To Mirror Marine Venus Penis Statue 

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Dalhousie Introduces New Course Registration System With Official Ticketmaster Partnership

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

The HRM White Monster Theory

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel

Intramural Athlete Retires From Sport Due To Pressure From Fan (Singular)

March 13, 2026 The Dalhousie Mackerel
Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

Dalhousie's Satirical Newspaper

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  • Home
  • “There’s Just Some Creep Lookin’ at Me”: President Of Dalhousie To Ban Mirrors On Campus Amidst Confusion On How They Work
  • Archived Issues
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  • Deep Saini Unable To Hear Divest Dal Representatives At Board Meeting Over Sound Of Oil Rig Drilling In President’s Office
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  • First Year Dalhousie Agriculture Student Unsure How To Submit Sheep Via Brightspace As Deadline Approaches
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