HALIFAX, NS—Despite reports of being a “huge moron that no one likes”, Carl Tuckerson has accepted a summer internship as a business analyst at Google.
Tuckerson’s classmate Taylor McConnell commented on the news: “Everyone knows Carl uses Chegg for literally everything. And he almost failed that history of rock and roll class, for fuck’s sake. He must have an uncle that works there or something.”
Tuckerson claimed his soft skills were the biggest factor in securing the role. He also cited his “solid, but not too showy” 2.3 CGPA