By Lilly Spoelstra
HALIFAX, N.S. — With Halloween nearly upon us, you may be wondering how exactly you can depict the nature of your oh-so-fabulous long-term relationship in a way that truly captures how you feel about each other. Have no fear (or maybe do); the Mackerel’s got your back to help prove your relationship is totally, definitely 100 per cent going well with five jaw-dropping couple costumes to use this Halloween.
5. Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard (The Office)
Dunder Mifflin’s favourite on-again, off-again couple — a classic “will they? Won’t they? Actually they probably shouldn’t” scenario. What’s healthier than dating, breaking up, dating and breaking up again, faking a pregnancy, being sent to rehab and then dating once more? While some couples have love, trust and stability, Kelly and Ryan have an alternate approach. Really, isn’t true love best captured by a couple who are always fighting to find their way back to each other despite all reasonable indications? The Mackerel certainly thinks so.
4. Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey)
A pick straight from your mother’s erotica romance novel. Forget about boring vanilla dating. Real relationships include numerous forms of blatant harassment, a 47-page sex contract and passionless confessions about how cool their whip collection is. If you think this relationship is too unhealthy for you, try re-evaluating what made you fall in love in the first place. Was it your partner’s dazzling personality? Their emotional unavailability? Or was it the fact they own billions in some vague online money-making empire you still don’t really understand? Whatever the reason, true love might just mean overlooking every red flag because they own a helicopter, which is way more interesting than open communication.
3. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan (The Twilight Saga)
Dating a man a century older than you, who watches you sleep and glares when you walk in a room? The epitome of love. Show the world age is just a number and you’re mature enough to know what you want — even if what you want is someone who’s been alive since the Spanish flu and lurks outside your bedroom at night. Bonus points if he’s sparkly!
2. Harley Quinn and the Joker (Detective Comics)
I know where you got these scars! Contrary to popular belief, nothing says healthy like committing heinous crimes together and being so codependent that someone gets pushed into a vat of acid. This costume takes “partner in crime” to a new level. If you don’t have someone willing to commit a felony in your honour, you may want to ask yourself what you’re settling for. So don’t let the haters get you down. They’re probably just jealous they don’t have someone to blow up a building for them too.
1. Henry VIII and his six wives (9th grade history)
Why stop at one wife when you have a partner who’s willing to share you with multiple lovers? Grab your partner and your five other side pieces, and hit the streets to show the world that your love knows no bounds. It’s a tale as old as time: if their heart is true — and they can bear you a son — Halloween might just be the night you secure yourself a spot at court. This Halloween, nothing says relationship goals like six wives and a turnover rate quick enough to turn heads.