I write this letter to the editorial team of the Dalhousie Mackerel, a once respectable source for news, on behalf of the University of King’s College student body. I, Indigo Chalet, like many King’s students, have taken umbrage with some of the outdated and deplorable stereotypes depicted in the latest issue of the Mackerel.
The media loves to depict King’s students in only one light, the dim light of an antique Tiffany lamp in a neo-Gothic library. But we are more than that stereotype. Seriously, the Mackerel said that all King’s students wear Doc Martens? Get with the fucking times.
Doc Martens aren’t even an alternative shoe anymore. Pointing that out is like saying that people are wearing Adidas sneakers — a very “water is wet” kind of statement. Even Dal students wear Docs now, so true Kingsians are into cowboy boots these days. But not the plastic, cheap-looking Shein-filth ones that the rest of you wear to a Morgan Wallen concert. Ours are genuine leather and hand-engraved by a blind eunuch in Montreal. They cost $700.
And yes, King’s students may have a knack for chain-smoking cigarettes, but we don’t do it in a Secret History-dark-academia-catholic-guilt-nihilist way anymore. God, you’re so out of touch. We smoke in a 2009-Ke$ha-post-Brat-HBO-Girls-absurdist way now.
Much to our chagrin, King’s still has some dark academia elements (our petition to decolonize the quad’s Georgian architecture and overhaul it to resemble Bushwick circa 2012 in alignment with our new aesthetic was unfortunately denied). And yes, most of our students are theatre kids who are extremely pretentious about literature, fashion and anything else that you can afford to have an opinion on when daddy is paying your rent, but regardless, the depiction of King’s students that appeared in your “forward thinking” publication was outdated, offensive and embarrassing.
Don’t even get me started on your claim that all King’s students are bisexual. First of all, we’re pansexual now. Second of all, we have PLENTY of straight students on campus — mostly in the journalism program — and by erasing them, you are silencing the voices of struggling straight students. I demand a retraction and a reprint. Shame on you.
Warmly,
Indigo Chalet
University of King’s College alum, class of 2025
By Sam Creighton