HALIFAX, N.S. — With the hullabaloo of the labour dispute settling down, there was notably one class whose absence was felt stronger than most. Originally announced last winter, ANAT 3175: Can I fuck it?, was listed on the timetable for the 2025-2026 fall term. The hype surrounding the course was originally drummed up by Dal meme pages, but — to the surprise of many — it was a real course offered by the university. It quickly filled up once registration opened and spawned a waitlist of hundreds of students, hailing from all areas of study.
Taught by Dr. Ben Dover, PhD, the class was slated to mainly feature slideshows of common household items, with Dover either stating “yes” or “no” to denote their fuckability. Bagels, hair driers and USB ports are reportedly well within his limits, while coasters and zebras seem to elude him. Lectures are 90 minutes and take place three times a week, despite no other material being covered.
In an interview with the Mackerel, Dover stated that he “… fought tooth and nail to provide this course to the masses.
“I had to sleep with many higher-ups to facilitate its existence,” he said.
For this reason, several senior staff members at Dalhousie University were set to be included in his course material.
Many students voiced concerns about the relevance of this class to the subject of anatomy. However, the syllabus clearly states that all students who express this opinion immediately fail the class and have their GPA reduced to a 0.0, which is “the easiest number to fuck.” Dover takes himself incredibly seriously as an academic.
“The PhD in my title stands for Pretty huge Dick,” he said.
Despite the questionable material and strange conduct, what ultimately got the course pulled — and Dover later fired — was not his rampant objectification of objects.
The final straw was a comment he made about the killing of Charlie Kirk. In a since-deleted Brightspace post, Dover settled a class debate by clarifying that, following field research, the vintage rifle used to kill Kirk was “surprisingly fuckable with the assistance of soaking.” University administration found that comment to be “insensitive to Kirk’s memory, the Mormon community and the NRA.”
It also didn’t help that Dover had an outstanding warrant for his arrest after becoming romantically involved with a parking metre outside the Dalhousie Arts Centre. He ultimately beat the case by declaring it was “academically necessary research.”
In the aftermath of his unemployment, Dover is currently set to debut a podcast of the same name as his course. It essentially asks the question, “What if his class had an ad read in the middle informing you of the most fuckable meal from Hello Fresh?” His first guest will be the ghost of Andy Warhol.
By Jake Waldner