HALIFAX, NS— Many Nova Scotians are weary of changes made to the Province’s COVID strategy. Chief Public Health Officer, Dr. Robert Strang, held a press conference inside of an aged care facility to announce the decision— a move considered tone-deaf by many.

Moving forward, COVID positive individuals need not isolate, and are recommended to refrain from spitting into the mouths of strangers when possible.

“You can’t tell me this is the worst thing you’re worried about catching at the Dome,” Strang was quoted as saying.

As cries of disagreement with the decision were heard from the residents of the facility, Strang turned to them, saying, “listen, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

When a reporter made a desperate plea against the decision, quoting his grandmother’s recent COVID diagnosis, Strang responded with “quite honestly, the bitch was asking for it.”

As the press conference wrapped up, Dr. Strang was seen strangling a 98 year old woman living in the care home for having mentioned she still had “a will to live” and “grandchildren to care for.”