HALIFAX, N.S. — As the fall semester comes to a close, many undergraduate honours students have begun to fall victim to their thesis. It’s hard to fathom that the hard work you signed up for is actually hard. Your sense of superiority over those completing regular degrees starts to crumble; however, it’s imperative you do not show any regret. Here are five tips to help you keep pushing through your thesis and produce your very best work.
1. Ask a professor to be your supervisor last minute.
Do not listen to people telling you to look for a supervisor early; this isn’t necessary. Why bother a professor earlier than you have to? Plus, they obviously get paid enough and have endless time on their hands, so there should be no reason for them to say no to you. Ask them at the very last minute to be your supervisor, and if they do say no, guilt-trip them! This will give them a taste of how convincing you can be, which you can translate to your writing.
2. Spend more time complaining about honours than actually writing your thesis.
This step is what it’s all about! You might have to write 80 pages, but more importantly, you have to complain to 80 people a day about how hard writing your thesis is. This can take up most of your time, but that’s okay. Push writing that chapter until tomorrow, your complaining quota is more important.
3. Make a group chat for your honours class so you can complain to an audience, but still never work on your thesis.
If you’re struggling, just know all of your classmates are too. By making a group chat, you can create a sense of community for each other and have a dedicated space to share some of your whining. If anyone tries to use this group chat to actually ask for help or talk about their project, ignore them. Their negativity will stress everyone else out — how inconsiderate.
4. Don’t get too caught up with ethics.
If your honours thesis requires approval by one of Dal’s research ethics boards, don’t worry about it too much. In fact, disregard it completely! Don’t let the university make you jump through bureaucratic hoops that will suppress your creativity and research talent. So what if you want to simulate a prison environment and let participants abuse each other? That’s cool as shit! You’re a genius and shouldn’t let the board of ethics stop you from doing the research you believe in. #WorthIt
5. Plagiarize.
You’re meant to be building off someone else’s research anyway, so why not copy it all? It will save you time, energy and make you sound way smarter. Seeing how long you can get away with it is such a rush! Chase the high.
By Lauren Sooksom