HALIFAX, N.S. — A lab session for a Dalhousie University biology class took a dramatic turn Thursday as lab partners-turned-situationship, Chrissy Clarkson and Peter LaPieux, discovered that it wasn’t just love that flowed through their hearts — but genetically similar blood.
The lab began the same way any other Thursday lab session would, with Clarkson and Lapieux taking their seats beside each other, exchanging nervous hellos before quickly devolving into a level of PDA that would lead you to believe their souls had been bonded by a pagan blood ritual. The class, however, took an even darker turn when students took cheek swabs to submit to a genetics lab. While most of the class used Q-tips to collect the sample from their own cheeks, Clarkson and Lapieux reportedly collected each other’s DNA samples with their own respective tongues.
When the results came back, the couple was “gagged as fuck” claimed their professor, Stirda Potte.
“Oh the blonde, blue-eyed couple in my class?” said Potte. “Their siblings or dating schtick was getting to be way too much. I’m glad the people finally have an answer.”
The lab results began with their respective blood types, which already had the pair shocked.
“I’m type B?!” exclaimed Clarkson. “I’m a straight-A student. My dad’s going to kill me.”
Meanwhile, LaPieux was reportedly scared of being type A due to being in the midst of a Pretty Little Liars rewatch.
The true drama began as they read the portion of the test that revealed genetic similarity to their lab partner, when Clarkson and LaPieux found they shared 25 per cent of their genetic material.
“A is so going to use this as blackmail,” said LaPieux. “I can’t believe my girlfriend is my half-sibling.”
The rest of the class was not nearly as shocked as the couple, having had a running bet on the genetic variability since the beginning of the semester.
“I owe the TA 50 bucks,” said one classmate. “I bet her that they would be full siblings.”
By Sam Creighton