HALIFAX, N.S. — After a recent viewing of the film Babygirl, a Dalhousie University student has taken an extreme approach to gain the affections of the Dal Tiger.
Jacob Romy, a psychology major, found that the erotic thriller taught him everything he needed to know in the art of seduction. Particularly when it comes to his long standing crush on the Dal Tiger.
“I just know what I want,” says Romy, who claims his pursuit has been successful. “And I know he wants it too. Everyone likes to be called a good kitty. Just last week, I had him on all fours drinking milk out of a glass.”
Many students are reportedly feeling “uncomfortable” as a result of the budding romance(?) between Romy and the Dal Tiger.
“I thought it was weird when Romy first showed up to a rugby game with his cat,” says one student. “He was making the cat chase a laser pointer around while making extremely intense eye contact with the tiger. But when Romy started to bring catnip to the games WITHOUT his cat there? That was when shit got weird.”
“The worst though, was when the tiger stopped doing his job mascoting and sat on the sidelines on Romy’s lap,” says another student. “The tiger was on Romy’s lap nuzzling him and purring. Romy just sat there like some kind of perverted bond villain. It was just sick.”
By Sam Creighton