Halifax N.S. — On Monday, employees at the Second Cup in the Killam Memorial Library fell into horror after announcing they will prolong the sale of pumpkin spice lattes until the end of 2024 because it is “a pumpkin spice fall,” according to Second Cup marketing intern Ashley Hope. Many voiced their concerns to The Mackerel about the repercussions of the sale of pumpkin spice lattes post-Halloween.
Puffer vests and uggs crowd the Killam atrium as pumpkin spice continues to be sold at Second Cup. Professors and grad students are terrified by the sight of the Killam.
“It’s like father Halloween has possessed this building, these lines are just too damn long,” says King’s College’s reverend Deblanc.
“All I want is my black coffee!” shouted grad students from the back of the Second Cup line.
The Killam is no safe place right now, as librarians urge the second floor to evacuate after the Second Cup line has grown larger and pumpkin spice girlies are starting to look like deprived zombies.
The Mackerel team decided it was time to get first hand accounts from the Second Cup staff to see how they are dealing with the high demand of pumpkin spice.
“These people have turned into freaks, one girl didn’t even order, she just looked into my soul,” said Second Cup barista Clarence McCallum.
“Just keep them coming [he chuckles], I don’t mind the attention,” said Will Flirt, another Second Cup employee.
Will Ashley Hope and Second Cup turn their backs on the idea to continue to sell pumpkin spice lattes after Halloween? Only time will tell, but for now stay clear of the Killam Library — shit’s getting real in there. Stay safe Dalhousie.
By Matt Macdonald