HALIFAX, N.S.— Dalhousie University administration is frantically rearranging the 2024/2025 academic calendar following the announcement of Taylor Swift’s 15th studio album. The Tortured Poets Department debuts April 19, just a month after course registration opens for returning undergraduate students. This is expected to lead to a substantial increase in enrollment for ENGL1111: Intro to Poetry taught by Dr. Fredrick Samson.
The Mackerel reached out to Dr. Samson, and when asked if he was nervous about teaching to so many students after nearly a decade of registration falling below 75 students a semester, he responded, “Being fearless isn’t being 100 per cent not fearful, it’s being terrified but you jump anyway,” which appears to be a quote from Swift herself. Dr. Samson also commented that he intended to adjust Intro to Poetry to include references to Swift. “If Harvard can offer a Taylor Swift course I don’t see why Dalhousie can’t.” The Mackerel agrees, after all, they are two historically similar universities.
As Dr. Samson prepares for all his new students, Dalhousie has struggled to accommodate this unexpected turn of events. Intro to Poetry was originally to be held in a broom closet at King’s, however, this will no longer suit the needs of the class. Ondaatje Hall, while large enough to accommodate such class sizes, is already in use during Intro to Poetry’s instruction hours by an environmental science class using Taylor Swift’s private jet emissions as a case study.
Dalhousie administration feels there is only one way to resolve the time conflict. “It looks like they’ll be in their Midnights era,” said a representative of the university.
Late class times do not appear to be discouraging students from signing up though, as the Dalhousie Taylor Swift Society has arranged an event to be held during course registration, with the goal of getting as many Swifties as possible into Intro to Poetry as possible. Attendees are encouraged to bring friendship bracelets, but there will be extras provided. The Taylor Swift Society hopes to see a large turnout.
By Ryan Van De Wiel