DSU Write-In Candidate Wins By A Landslide
HALIFAX, N.S. — As the votes from the Google Form are electronically tallied, a shocking victory for the Dalhousie Student Union president position went to write-in candidate “Jug of Expired…
Dal Investment Society Crashes Stock Market
HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events that no commerce student had on their 2025 bingo card, global markets plunged into chaos last Friday after the Dalhousie Investment…
The Dalhousie Gazette Closes Its Doors
HALIFAX, N.S. — Time of death, April 1, 2025. During a meeting of the Dalhousie Student Union last month, keen-eyed treasurer Beth Moneyhandler made the observation that there was some…
Missing Man Found, “Broken” On Halifax Pier
HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking turn of events, Patrick Merf, a man who has been missing since 1778, has turned up alive on a Halifax pier. Merf is believed…
Low Voter Turnout Changes DSU Presidency To Hired Position
HALIFAX, N.S. — Another Dalhousie Student Union election has come and gone, and in response to a shocking polling turnout of three per cent of the student population, the board…
All Changes Coming to Dalhousie Meal Halls In The 2025/2026 School Year
HALIFAX, N.S. — In response to several complaints and three hospitalisations, Dalhousie University has revealed a plan outlining changes to meal hall services starting September 2025. The changes include the…
U.S. Tariffs Cause Smirnoff Withdrawals Amongst First Years
HALIFAX, N.S. — The recent U.S. tariffs on imported alcohol have triggered an unexpected crisis amid Smirnoff Ice shortages affecting Dalhousie’s first-year students. The 275ml bottles of sugary regret, long…
Guy With (Seriously) Nothing Else Going On Attends Every Single Masters Thesis Defense
HALIFAX, N.S. — If you have an active dal.ca email address, and you’re unfortunate enough to be signed up automatically for a certain mailing list, you might have received one,…
Halifax Council Calls In Budgeting Expert To Make Annual Budget, Broke University Student Taps In
HALIFAX, N.S. — Halifax Regional Council recently held the first budget meeting since the new council was sworn in. However the budget meeting went differently this time around, as most…
Top Five Jobs for Recent Arts Graduates
HALIFAX, N.S. —- Life as a recent graduate can be scary. You may not know what career path is right for you, and if you were an arts major, jokes…