Male patrons of the Dalplex have been forced to grapple with the harsh reality of what lies in their future. It has almost become a guarantee that elderly men will be seen in the buff while using the building’s change rooms.
While most students have accepted this as a part of life, there is one student who claims to have seen too much.
“I can’t eat, I can’t sleep… I haven’t spoken to my grandfather in months,” says first-year poli sci student, Rodney Hudson.
“When I close my eyes, wrinkles are all I see.”
While Hudson has only been on campus for two months, he claims to have seen over 180 different elderly penises in that short amount of time, the worst of which came on a fateful evening in the sauna. “I was sitting in there trying to sweat out my demons, and then in comes this guy, probably in his nineties, buck-naked, and he just starts doing yoga,” said Hudson. “I can’t explain how horrifying it was to be trapped there.”
Hudson is demanding action from Dalhousie to address the issue. The school has released a statement saying it is investigating its options. The Canadian Human Rights Commission has also commented on the situation, saying that if the school were to implement Hudson’s recommendation of age segregation, they would be forced to involve themselves.