HALIFAX, N.S.— Thin walls are an inescapable aspect of residence life that many are very familiar with. No sound is secret, nothing is discrete and, in particular, the sounds of your next door neighbour getting it on can be heard so clearly and frequently that you’re starting to think they never go to class. But instead of dwelling on the fact that you haven’t felt the touch of another in months, you can play these 5 songs to help set the mood for your peers and show how great of a neighbour you truly are.
5- Creep by Radiohead
The first step to setting the mood is tapping into deep emotions. There is no better song for this than the one that helped you cope with being the “weird kid” in middle school. Start blasting it as loud as you did when you were 13 to really help the couple next door feel their freaky sides too.
4- It’s Everyday Bro by Jake Paul
There’s no better hype song than this masterpiece that’ll be sure to get your neighbour and their partner really going. The epic beat and thoughtful lyricism will definitely set them up for an evening of passionate love making. They’ll really resonate with this song because they quite literally go at it everyday.
3- Any Cover by the Glee Cast
Nothing says passion like a bunch of misfits and their creepy teacher trying to find their place in the world through the power of song. Plus, the homoerotic energy every Glee song has will account for whichever way your neighbour swings, so no need to worry about not being progressive enough. Bonus points if you also play the Glee version of Creep.
2- Cbat by Hudson Mohawke
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1- A Live Performance by The King’s Chapel Choir
And finally, if you want to go the extra mile in showing how good of a neighbour you are, you can always recruit the King’s Choir to give a live performance through the wall. It’ll create the perfect intense and powerful ambiance for your neighbour while also giving the choir extra practice, so everybody wins. Overall, there’s really no better feeling than banging to a Gregorian chant.
By Lauren Sooksom