HALIFAX, N.S. — Valentine’s Day has come and gone and love is still in the air. Sometimes, however, love can get out of hand, as shown by English student Marjorie Munson whose confession of undying affection spread far further than she ever intended.
“So there’s this guy, Dr. Caddel, he’s the professor for my Shakespeare class, but I prefer to think of him as ‘my husband,’” Munson explained while drawing hearts on her copy of King Lear. “Cause it’s around Valentine’s I thought I’d tell him how I feel in a tasteful, respectful fashion. Unfortunately a few people got hold of the letter who weren’t my boo.”
Munson made one of the gravest errors one can in modern society: She accidentally clicked reply all when sending her love letter to her prof, exposing her feelings to her entire English class. Her fellow classmates quickly developed opinions on the letter.
Jordan Thompson, a fellow student in the class, told The Mackerel that “even ignoring the ethical problems of a student pursuing a relationship with their prof, the letter is shit. It’s 14 pages long and uses the wrong ‘their’ over 30 times. The allusions to Shakespeare were especially disturbing, for example: “The course of true love never did run smooth, but I like it rough” and “Conscience doth make cowards of us all, but I can be brave for both of us, baby.” She also used “Expectation is the root of all heartache” with seemingly no self awareness whatsoever.”
Barry Hart, another student copied on the email, differed in opinion, arguing “The letter is awkward and inappropriate, that’s indisputable, but it’s not as bad as everyone is saying. The sonnet from pages five to seven may be a hornier version of ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’ but the wording and punctuation choices clearly have a lot of thought put into them. We should honestly study it in class if it doesn’t make Dr. Caddel too uncomfortable.”
“Well, it’s better than the last one,” explained Emily Johnson. “She listened to my suggestion to remove the ‘the Devil hath power to assume a pleasing shape’ section. I think it can still be workshopped a bit, but by reading week this love letter is going to go HARD.”
“I can’t believe THIS is what it took to get my students to make discussion posts on Brightspace,” Dr. Caddel told The Mackerel.
By Samuel MacDonald