HALIFAX, N.S.— Rarely do miracles occur on Dalhousie University campus, yet this past Friday a wave of inexplicable luck was experienced by members of a first year management class. Students awoke to an email from their professor informing them he’d extended the due date for the assignment due that day. Shortly after, a handful of students received messages from their families notifying them of various medical and scientific miracles that had occurred.
“It’s crazy,” said student Bradley Paulson. “Right after I got our prof’s email, my mom texted me telling me Grandma was gonna make it. Apparently this is really rare and the doctors are in disbelief. This is even better news because I haven’t actually started the assignment. I had already drafted an email to beg for an extension by really milking this grandma thing but I guess I don’t need to send that now.”
Other students from the class reported similar miracles, mostly medical in nature.
“Our beloved family dog Sparky survived getting hit by a car right after I got Professor Douglas’s email,” said student, Andrea Wallace. “This is lucky for a lot of reasons because I think Sparky had plans to eat my assignment before he got hit, which probably would’ve actually killed him.”
Astrophysics students also noted that an asteroid headed for one of the students’ houses changed course immediately after Professor Douglas’s email was sent.
When asked for his thoughts on the situation, Professor Douglas denied his involvement in the miraculous work of the universe.
“Look, I really don’t care about my student’s personal lives,” he said. “That’s the whole reason I extended the due date, I wanted to avoid as much trauma dumping as possible. If I don’t want to see about it in my inbox, I definitely don’t want to hear about it from the fake news.”
Though incredibly lucky for their strokes of good luck, when asked, students had no intentions of working on the assignment until the newly established last minute.
“I’m really looking forward to spending this extra time scrolling endlessly through TikTok,” said Paulson. “And thank god Grandma didn’t die, that would’ve really ruined my phone-in-bed time.”
By Lauren Sooksom