HALIFAX, NS — Sunday, Oct. 1st, saw yet another eventful Hoco street party at Dalhousie University. While the Dalhousie Student Union typically has a press conference condemning Hoco and those who participate, Craig Fregley, the assigned board representative for the event, was a no-show.
Luckily, The Mackerel was able to score an exclusive interview with Fregley by breaking into his home. Fregley was found laying in bed in complete darkness, with laboured breathing. “I can’t move. My head is killing me. This is pure rot. I feel like the grandfather from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” Fregley said of his dishevelled state.
“What has me like this? It is pure disgust for those deplorable students participating in Hoco … Day drinking, partying in the streets … It was awesome – I mean inexcusable. I’m so hungov-, I mean hung up on the reckless behaviour I couldn’t even make it to my press conference,” Fregley said.
Despite Fregley’s comments, he was allegedly spotted on Jennings Street doing a keg stand, before promptly being ticketed for open alcohol and then hijacking a police horse.
“No way I would ever go to an event like Hoco. I was busy … uhh … having a tea party with Waye Mason,” Fregley stated. “There’s this guy that looks like me … I think he’s Freg Craigley. He’s always at events not condoned by the DSU, it must have been Craigley.”
The Mackerel attempted to contact Freg Craigley for a comment, but was unable to find any individual by that name.
By Sam Creighton