HALIFAX, NS— Students of Greg Fury’s mammalian physiology course will have to finish out the semester with a new face leading the class.
Fury announced over the weekend that he will be resigning from his position as rumours about his relationship with The Dal Tiger continue to mount.
“At this time, I believe it is most important that I focus on my wife and our children,” said Fury at a press conference Tuesday evening.
Leaving the podium in a rush, Fury neglected to turn off his microphone. Shortly after, loud growls and purrs were heard throughout the building’s sound system.
The Mackerel managed to contact one of Fury’s students, Denise Dennis, who provided the following statement: “Oh yeah, that guy is definitely fucking The Dal Tiger. At least once a class he would get a phone call from ‘Domino’s’ and would always answer it, ‘Hey sexy, how’s my fluffy daddy?’”
The Dal Tiger has denied any involvement with Fury.
“I’ve never seen that very handsome and tender man in my life. I did hear his wife is a real bitch though,” said The Dal Tiger.
The Mackerel will continue to update this story as it develops.