HALIFAX, N.S. — Dalhousie University’s faculty of biology has conducted many studies over the years that have expanded humans’ scientific understanding of the world. However, one mystery that continues to elude them is the presence of a wild tiger native to Dalhousie’s campus.
Kelsey Biloba, a fourth-year ecology major, has dedicated her honours project to the study of this tiger.
“It is truly an evolutionary miracle. For a tiger to survive in such an urban environment that is nothing like its usual rainforest environment. It opens so many doors,” said Biloba.
“I mean, come on. A bipedal tiger? It is unheard of. It has not displayed any violent tendencies towards anyone, except for the occasional SMU student,” Biloba continued.
Kevin Poach, Biloba’s honours supervisor, feels the notorious ‘Dal Tiger’ still has more questions than answers.
“We have attempted on more than one occasion to tranquilize the mighty beast, but it is so mysterious and elusive. Upon inspection of one of our few fur samples, the DNA appears to have lots of similarities to human genetic code,” Poach shared with Mackerel.
“I’m honestly afraid of the implications. I don’t know if the parents should be in a lab, or in a jail cell,” Poach continued.
The mystery of the half-man, half-tiger creature has caused a division within the faculty. One camp believes the creature to be a scientific breakthrough, while other nutjob conspiracy theorists believe the creature to be nothing but a hoax.
By Sam Creighton