HALIFAX, N.S. — In a shocking decision, the Dalhousie Gazette has announced its board will no longer be comprised of current students. Instead, the volunteer positions will be filled by mice from Dalhousie University residence buildings.
Despa Ritt, the current president of the Gazette board, said the change was driven by dwindling student interest and the unwavering presence of the campus’ thriving mouse population.
“We were having trouble filling the roles to begin with,” she said. “So we thought, who is always trying to nose their way into the lives of students no matter what? That’s when we came up with our solution.”
Ritt will be stepping down at the end of the year and said she is excited for the change the new board will bring.
“I think having a mouse-led board would encourage writers to cover a broader range of issues, including the discriminatory health and safety restrictions in dining halls and the serious threat that allowing cats in dorm rooms poses to Dalhousie’s mouse population.”
Inya Walls, a mouse who has been living in Sheriff Hall since last November, was thrilled to learn she had a shot at one of the five vacant board positions.
“When I found out they were opening the spots up to us, I squealed so loudly that my human roommate felt the need to climb up on her desk and scream with me,” she said.
Walls thinks sitting on the board will be the resumé booster she needs to move up in the world after university.
“I’ve got big aspirations for my future,” said Walls. “A nicer bed to hide under and a roommate with the money to spring for nice cheeses.”
Some students are against the change. Aaron Taylor, a third-year commerce student, believes the Gazette should open up the eligibility for the positions.
“Yeah, I never applied, but I considered it for a few seconds every time they posted about needing members,” he said. “Applying was just, like, a lot of work.”
Taylor also noted that he desperately needs the experience that a board position could provide. However, he said he might consider applying in a couple of years, after he gets back from his upcoming gap year at his parents’ cottage in France.
It is not yet known whether this decision will include mice from the University of King’s College residences. However, given the makeup of the editorial staff, it is likely they will be welcomed onto the new team.
By Mira Posluns