Halifax, N.S. —

Hey New Bestie!

My name is Belinda Ringworm and I am a master’s student at Dalhousie University, currently working on my thesis where I am studying the connection between watching people while they sleep and sex drive. So far, my results are trending positively! I have lived in Halifax for five years now, so I know the city well but have unfortunately had to move every year because my roommates keep mysteriously disappearing.

I am extremely clean and generally keep to myself, however I can’t say the same for my six pet rats who I expect to have full roam of the house. I don’t smoke or drink so you won’t have to worry about me coming home late. With that being said I do own and operate a small business so you can expect a lot of random people coming to the door late at night and asking for me. If I’m not there, I will be keeping the product nice and organized with labels under my bed and it would be great if you could handle those interactions for me. 

I’m not currently in a relationship so my son will also be living with me full time which is non-negotiable. He is only eight but I am fine if you get him to do chores around the house (kind of like a house elf) in exchange for his accommodations. I know I may be a little different than your average girl but I am really nice and a good connection to have. I don’t use email so you will have to send a carrier pigeon to get a hold of me. Thanks and I look forward to meeting you!

By Jonah Schwabb