Five Ways To Mourn The Queen During The Upcoming Holiday
Colonize a foreign nation Marry your cousin Cover up your son’s sex crimes Have your daughter-in-law murdered Spit on an Irish person We hope whatever strategy you should choose will…
Tree Planters Recovery Program Introduced At Dalhousie For Student’s Who Can’t Stop Talking About Their Summer In The Bush
It’s hard to fault any student for feeling a certain dread as summer comes to a close. However, for one group in particular, this period signifies not only the bleak…
Bookstore Offers To Buy Back Mint Condition Textbook For Three Stale Cigarettes And A Partially Used Burt’s Bees
HALIFAX, NS—Second-year student Natasha Obermayer is excited for the coming school year, having learned many valuable lessons during her first year at Dalhousie. “First and foremost, there is no chance…
“Well I Don’t Consider Myself ‘From’ Any One Place” Answers First-Year Student Who Took Gap Year
HALIFAX, NS—First year student Alyssa Fortworth knew she had made a mistake the second she asked the question. “Well that’s really hard to answer,”explained dorm neighbour Scott Bissick, who had…
All Available Literature Concludes Hooking Up With Your Dorm Room Neighbour Is A Terrific Idea That Won’t Backfire At All
HALIFAX, NS—Elias Rumpkin, a masters student in Dalhousie’s health promotion department, has recently published her groundbreaking thesis. In the paper—a literature review— Rumpkin asserts that despite what you may think,…
Water To Be Completely Shut Off During O-Week In Commitment To Fully Dry Campus
HALIFAX, NS—Dalhousie administration has announced that all campus water supplies will be shut off from September 1st-4th to ensure a completely dry campus during O-Week. “In past years, solely banning…