HALIFAX, NS — The 2022 Winter Olympics are currently underway in Beijing, but one special event will take place here in Halifax.

The Halifax Commons is a place to roller skate, play spike-ball, have a picnic with friends, and most importantly—a place to avoid at night. Come winter, however, the Commons are also a treacherous, ice-covered obstacle course. Only the most agile athletes can trek across it without injury. Locals have been petitioning for Walking The Commons to be added to the Olympics for years, but after being denied for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics many lost hope. This year it was finally accepted.

The Mackerel met with Haligonian Darryl Smith—Canada’s most promising entrant for the event—during his Olympic training earlier this week.

“To be honest I didn’t know this was even considered a sport. I was just crossing the commons to go get a burrito from DeeDee’s one day and got scouted. They said they’d never seen someone look so coordinated on the ice while wearing Vans.”

Smith is excited to compete in the event with gear the Olympic committee has declared “more than necessary”, such as crampons and an ice pick.

When asked how he became so skilled at the sport, Smith shrugged and said “I just grew up here.”

The event will begin tomorrow morning, and experts say Canada is likely to bring home the gold.