HALIFAX, N.S. — Ryan Gofer, a third-year nursing student at Dalhousie University, was recently shocked to discover that all three of his roommates are dating each other.
“I just thought they didn’t like me,” Gofer told the Mackerel. “I kind of wish that was the situation, because now when we have movie nights I have to sit at the end of the couch while the three of them cuddle up and whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears.”
The throuple describes themselves as a “socially-open-fiscally-closed-tripartite system.”
“It’s okay for any of us to go to a bar and flirt or even hook up with someone else, but we set a boundary at buying someone a drink,” says Sara Murton, a second-year Dal commerce student and the polycule’s treasurer. “That money needs to be saved for our Greece trip.”
Molly Reid, a third-year Dal political science student and another of Gofer’s roommates, is unsure why Gofer is complaining about their house dynamic.
“We asked him if he wanted to join, but when I suggested that he ‘come play with us,’ he showed up to my room with Scrabble and Munchkin,” says Reid. “I mean, who plays Munchkin?”
Alex Horne, the group’s third member and chore-wheel manager, was contacted by the Mackerel but declined an interview, citing “scheduling issues.”
While Gofer respects his roommate’s bond, he doesn’t want to be caught up in interpersonal dynamics more complex than figuring out whose leftovers are rotting in the back of the fridge.
“I’m a very open-minded person,” he says. “But I feel like the nuances surrounding a non-monogamous household might be too complicated for me to deal with day in and day out.”
Gofer is currently scouring Facebook Marketplace for a new living situation, as the polycule’s relationship has been souring as of late, resulting in passive-aggressive messages in the group chat.